It is 8:00am on a Saturday morning, and you my friend have just woken up. Some of you probably had the time of your life last night, while others may have decided to stay in on Friday night. In an ideal situation the first thing you might do out of bed is pray (if you do believe in a higher power) or you might go brush Friday night crud off your teeth. However I did use the word ideally, so your morning wake up probably went a little something like this. One super-hot loud yawn, a very ugly morning stretch, a few scratches on your rear end, with a blurry stroll to the refrigerator aka “heavens gateway.” Now if your Saturday morning wake up routine is anything like this, there is nothing to be ashamed of because we all do it or at least have all done it. Also what is better than waking up and going straight to the refrigerator to have a nice cold beverage or a quick snack?
Now with every step you take towards your refrigerator your mind is scrambling with thoughts on what lies behind heaven’s gateway. Maybe it’s some apple juice, milk, leftovers, or grandma’s apple pie. Please stay with me and don’t get distracted by these delicious treats. As you continue you slowly reach for that handle, and as you open the door your morning excitement has now crashed into a morning disappointment. You just realized you don’t have anything to eat or drink in your refrigerator. Now there are many ways we can handle this situation but the most common one that many of us are guilty of is going back to our refrigerator to open that same door multiple times within the same hour.
If you can relate to this, allow me to let you in on a little secret. You my friend have been caught in the Refrigerator Effect. The Refrigerator effect is a common concept that I came up with that many humans could relate to when dealing with personal situations in their lives. Many may ask what is the Refrigerator effect? The Refrigerator Effect is the process of repeating something that is unproductive, and unhealthy to your well being while expecting a different outcome each time. The harsh truth about this concept is that we already know what the outcome will be. The same way we knew nothing was in the refrigerator after the first attempt is the same way we know that nothing will change after we continue opening the same door.
Many of us will complain and get frustrated and question why there is no food, instead of taking action. Comfort, fear, and pure laziness has clouded your mind so badly that deep down inside you may want change but you just do not know how to go about it or want to fix it. One example could be a toxic partner who continues to hurt you, but has promised to change after taking them back for the 10th time. You don’t leave the relationship because you are comfortable and are scared to look elsewhere. Then what about the job that is paying you well while treating you poorly? You may not be able to leave because of the fear of having to be financially responsible.
Lastly maybe you are interested in starting a photographer company, but every time you get paid you seem to spend your paycheck on pointless things instead of the camera that you have been dreaming about. Whatever your situation may be my question to you is… why do we continue to reopen doors that are meant to stay closed, knowing what already lies behind them? Below I came up with three keys that I hope may help you avoid this pitfall and provide some clarity towards greater change.
If there is one thing that I have come to realize it is that we are not always as self-aware as we may think we are. With the many struggles we endure in life, the easiest thing to do is to put the blame on others. We may trick ourselves to think that we are not fully responsible and place ourselves as the victim. This is a huge problem and the only way we can fix this is by looking in the mirror and being honest with ourselves. For example if your partner cheated on you, this may be your partner’s fault however it is your responsibility to eventually fix your heart. Do not allow this situation to be the reason why you continue to push away potential mates years later. Being self-aware will allow you to approach your current situation from a logical standpoint and not an emotional one.
You have to believe in something greater than you, no matter how dark your situation is. You must believe that something better is on the way. Faith is something that may be hard to believe in, but you must fight through your negative thoughts. Remember your mind is a powerful tool and it is always listening to what you say to yourself and what you allow others to say to you. In order for faith to work you must take action. You can talk a big game however are you backing up your words with positive action? You really hate your job and you are dying for a way out. You are going to have to put the work in order to search for a new job and stay consistent in your pursuit. You must have faith and remain positive that eventually a new job offer will come.
A person, who has principles, has a reason and with that reason comes power. Your principles are what you stand by; it is the ability to stay focused and to discipline yourself from any temptations. You keep trying to look a part instead of being apart. Stop comparing yourself to other people you see online. While other people do it for likes and attention you must do it because you do not have a choice. If your dream is to start your own photography company, you must stay focused on the task of your start up. You must discipline yourself to save your money and to practice your craft. If you have acquired extra money but you purchased the latest Jordan sneakers are you every going to move forward with your dream?
Hopefully you may find this article to be useful in your daily life, and I thank you for taking your time to read it. Remember that it is never too late to take action or to change for the better. It starts with you. Also remember that you do not grow from comfort. Farwell and god bless, this is a session of Mr. Drummond Talks.